Flat-front pants

A nice pair of dress pants (or seven) is an important part of any young professional's wardrobe.

Last week, I purchased some new slacks for work. I like them. They are snazzy. But there's one problem with them (at least if you ask my wife): they all have pleats.

I have been informed that flat-front pants, contrary to what I have always believed, are "slimming." Pleats "add unnecessary bulk to the waistline."

Maybe my eyes are broken. I've always observed the exact opposite. I think flat-front pants make my belly look like it could shelter a child from a rainstorm. Or a dwarf. Apparently, I am wrong. (This happens frequently now that I am married.)

I think this whole slimming thing is complete crap. Look at the guy in the picture to the right. Dude's already slim. No matter what pants he's got on, the guy's going to look slim. If you want to back up the whole slimming thing you should squeeze someone beefy into a pair and then judge.

My wife also informs me that flat-front pants are "in." I don't even know what to say about that.

She did bring up the magnificent point that jeans are a type of flat-front pants and that I wear them all the time. This is true, but I don't tuck in my shirt when wearing jeans -- my shirt covers the front of them. With all due respect, her point, for me, is therefore moot.