82

How long are YOU gonna live?

According to a site called Living To 100 I'm gonna croak at 82 if I don't get my crap together.

Now, if do a better job of flossing my teeth every night, cutting back red meat consumption to 1-2 days a week, and groping myself more regularly to check for testicular lumps, WHAMMO, I can tack on three more years.

And that's nothing! If I cut out the fast food, lower the dairy consumption (blasted cheese addiction!) and start taking an asprin each day (preferrably in the evening), the site says I can expect an extra 8 years of wonderful livin'.

I'd do the rest of the stuff they suggested, but who wants to live much past 90 anyway? Eternity awaits, and I hear it's way cooler than mortality.