The Gramophone Awards

My reaction to the Grammys: I don't really like U2's latest album. In fact, it was a big letdown for me. The only slightly worthwhile song on the thing was "Vertigo," and it felt like a retread. I loved the previous effort, you know, the one with the really long name? I count it as one of my favorites of the last few years. Also, like you, I adore "Actung Baby." But this "Dismantle" thing? Sub par. Doesn't stack up to "AB" or the other one with the really long name or "Joshua Tree." Crap, it's not even close to "Rattle and Hum." The emperor has no clothes, man.

As for the rest of the winners: Mariah Carey is a no talent a**-clown. No one wanted your copycat comeback. Go away. We got Beyonce now, and we don't want her, either. Green Day -- all your songs sounded like other songs I already heard and liked, so I guess your songs were pretty okay, too. Here's a Grammy. Kelly Clarkson, your song is aural crack. Illegal. I don't want to like it, but no one can't not like it. Stevie Wonder ... uh, okay. Maroon 5 does a better Stevie Wonder than you do nowadays, so let's give them one, too.

People who got an award who deserved it: Kanye West. Yep ... Lando Calrissian, his own self. Yeah, I'm a Kanye West fan. Not as big a one as he is, but I have to admit he's got skillz.

Also, someone needs to explain to the Grammys that Richard Pryor, although funny at times, never sang anything.