Costco power lunch

If you haven't done this, well dude, you should. It's called the Costco Power Lunch®. And here's how it works:

1. Go to Costco any weekday at about noon (avoid weekends -- trust me on this).
2. Head to the back of the store.
3. Go around the "horn of plenty," sampling your way to the food concessions at the front of the store.
4. Buy yourself a $1.50 hot dog (comes with a refillable drink).
5. Eat it.
5. Go back to #2 and repeat until full.

My buddy Matt and I would do this every couple of weeks when he was in law school. It hit the spot every time. And, thanks to the magic power of hot dogs, I would frequently feast on that yummy all-beef flavor the rest of the day.

The key to a good CPL® vs. a bad one: timing. If you can do things just right -- and this requires you a.) walk at a leisurely pace b.) occasionally stop to "smell" the Costco roses and c.) chat it up with the old or socially awkward sample "chefs" -- you can get one (or two -- see etiquette guide #2) of every single sample the store is offering on a given day.

Some CPL® etiquette:

1. Don't hover over the sample chefs if a sample isn't ready to go. This makes them nervous and can lead to stalling. Especially wrinkly old chefs.
2. Don't get greedy. Sometimes you can get more than one sample if there are few people in the store, but don't be taking food out of the mouth of that kid who always tries to butt in front of you in line, even though the little bastard deserves it.
3. Don't ask the sample chefs any questions about their tasty wares -- they really don't want to have to tell you where in the freezer isle you can get those japeleno poppers, and you both know you really don't plan on buying them, anyway.