More ketchup please

My car has made its way through many a fast drive-thru over the years. My expanding double chin is a fleshy testament to this fact.

Despite this, it was only a year ago I recognized a pattern I had encountered many times before. What can I say? Something clicked in my head. I still to this day don't know why this happens, it simply does. Try it for yourself and see.

You'll note that the phenomenon transcends any one eatery. You, like me, have probably had it happen to you, perhaps without thinking about it. It goes a little something like this:

1. Order and pay for food.
2. Pick up food.
3. Ask for ketchup.
4. Window technician (let's call him Jimmy) forks over a measly 2-3 packets.
5. Ask for more ketchup.

It is at this point that some conservation switch flips to the off position in Jimmy's mind. No longer will he follow the directive of his manager to dole out the ketchup packs like they were World War II ration stamps. No, it is time to get down to business ... the business of giving you what he should have given you all along and then some.

Jimmy now offers you more ketchup packets than his hands can accommodate; inevitably a packet or two falls on the ground.

All you wanted was maybe a couple packs more. Just enough to get to the bottom of that bucket of french fries you ordered. But now you have enough ketchup for your fries and any other sick, perverted thing you've always wanted to do with ketchup but couldn't because of a lack thereof.

Like I said Hot Rod, this is something that has happened at Wendy's, McDonalds, Burger King, Carl's Jr., etc.

Why do you do this to me Jimmy? Why? I just don't need that much ketchup. What am I supposed to do with the excess? Save it? Throw it away? And most of all, why won't you just give me a couple more packets to begin with?