Tiny, strong baby

After a greuling 15 hours of hard labour, my wife finally had our child via C-section (you bet imma capitalize that "C") a couple weeks ago. Hey, that's life I guess. She's doing well, thanks. And the boy? He is tiny, but strong; he also has incredible urinary powers.

When I go to change the little guy's diapers or shirt, I cannot, for the life of me, get him to unbend his arms or legs. When I try to coax them, he just holds them tighter and makes these cool grunting noises. But I've noticed that if I will just wait a second or two after attempting to unbend his appendages, he'll straighten them of his own accord. Stubborn, but not too stubborn. I like that.

As for his urinary powers, the kid can pee through a Huggies diaper, a bodysuit, a pair of pants, a bulletproof shield and a blanket onto my defenseless wife. Okay, she's not all that defenseless, she knows karate. But dang! Who'd have thought that a little wiener like that could have such force! It makes a father proud.

Friday, I'm In Love

Here we are: Friday afternoon. But this isn't just any Friday, it's St. Patrick's Day. Shamrocks, leprechauns, and HOLY CRAP!!! I just spelled leprechauns right. What's with that "h" up in there, anyway? The luck 'o the Irish must be with me.

Today was the day my unborn child was supposed to make his appearance, but, like his mother, he is late. (And I'm okay with that, by the way. She was worth the wait and he will be, too.)

What I'm NOT okay with is the amount of pizza I ate today for lunch. I don't know what it is, but when I get those triangular slices of cheesy goodness in front of me all self-control takes a back seat to my insatiable appetite for pizza. My stomach feels like a mid-sized backpack that has seven pairs of thick, cotton sweatpants of various colors shoved into it. This may be similar to what my dear wife has felt like for the last few months, what with her being pregnant and all.

Oooh. That's a good excuse when she asks me why I'm not hungry for dinner. "Oh, I was just trying to get a better feel for what you are going through right now, baby. So I ate half a pepperoni pizza." I think she'll buy it.